Well...

THERE’S A 104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION

AND SCHOOL COMES ALONG JUST TO END IT

SO THE ANNUAL PROBLEM FOR OUR GENERATION IS FINDING A GOOD WAY TO SPEND IT… LIKE MAYBE

SACRIFICING YOUR FAMILY TO SATAN

Zak was a kid. He is average in just about every way. Not uglier than most other people, not dumber, or any less talented. He did however have less Serotonin being produced in this brain chemistry. Zak was a wreck. He couldn’t quite tell but friends were mentioning he was acting strange. He was acting sad for whatever reason. He didn’t notice or care for that matter. He had bigger problems like that test he needs to take or if he will ever live up to his own very high standards. After a week or so, Zak never took that test. Zak lost motivation. He felt he had no reason to ever really leave to go anywhere. So that’s when Zak’s parents took him to go to the doctor.

            Zak never did like the doctor. He always told him about problems and Zak didn’t want any more problems. As far as Zak is concerned he had all the problems in the world, after all he had a test to make up. Zak’s parents demanded it and forced him to get out of the house, something Zak didn’t do in quite a long time. So Zak left the house. At the doctors he took a questionnaire. The questionnaire was filled with questions of “How are you feeling? “Are you feeling hopeless? ”Have you ever thought about suicide?” and Zak answered all the questions. After talking a bit with my parents, Zak was told he had Depression. This news shocked him. How could anything be wrong with him? It’s the whole world that has all the problems! This news devastated him.

            After that day at the doctors, he went to a different clinic, a children’s mental health clinic. There where Winnie the Pooh characters everywhere on the walls and they had a popcorn machine. After offering some popcorn to Zak they called him back to a room with a big sofa and a desk. Kid’s toys were covering the floor and bright colorful paintings hung on the walls. There was a sweet old lady behind the desk who introduced herself and started to ask questions about him. Zak answered in-between popcorn bites. He heard what he was saying and things really started to sink in. Something was wrong with his thinking and this attitude and he didn’t even notice. After going home Zak felt horrible. He was angry at himself and there was nothing he could do. He wasn’t normal anymore. He was different. Everybody right now was better than him and Zak was a pile of uncontrollable sadness. He punched the wall and tore his room apart. His hand started bleeding and Zak sat in the middle of his destroyed room crying uncontrollably as his parents ran in hugging him and asking what was wrong.

             After a week of taking medication, Zak lost 30lbs. He was already underweight before and now as a 17 year old he weighed 95 lbs. He just didn’t feel hungry and would frequently not eat breakfast or lunch. The fact of the matter was Zak didn’t feel much of anything. He just didn’t care or feel. Zak stopped being able to sleep too. He would lay in bed staring at his ceiling for what must have been days. After a while of regurgitating food and being very dizzy, he was rushed to the doctor. He was given medication to sleep as well as a stronger med for his Depression. This was the final straw. Zak couldn’t stand the thought of being dependent on meds for sleeping and eating and he tried to convince himself he was better. So he started to test himself. He tried sleeping without his meds. That didn’t work. He tried to motivate himself to ask a friend to hang out. That didn’t work. He wondered if he could still even feel anything. He couldn’t feel happiness and all he felt was sorrow and angry so he tried to see if he could feel pain. He could. He was able to feel like a living thing for a split second and see himself bleed. The feeling of a different emotion was overwhelming and Zak couldn’t help but to try to feel more alive, especially when he didn’t want to anymore.

            Zak went to the hospital for 24 hours when his parents found out. He was supervised the whole time. His mom was crying as he was detained for self-harm. Causing this much pain to his mother broke him a bit inside. How could he do this to his own family? Why was he being such a burden? When Zak came home his family sat with him all day and they visited the clinic for popcorn more frequently. Zak hated this life and wanted no more than for the way things were to become the new status-quo. Zak wanted to climb to the top of a bottomless pit while he was still falling. Zak did what the people at the clinic told him to and played a sport and got involved in a club. Friends where worried for Zak because he was gone for so long. Everyone crowded around him and asked questions repeatedly because he was gone for so long. They honestly thought he was dead. Zak sometimes wishes he was. He would have days where he didn’t get much sleep. He had days where the toughest challenge in the world was getting out of bed. He spent hours a day wondering why he was still alive and how things could get worse.

            Zak’s friends stopped talking to him after his frequent disappearances. They wanted to know what happened to Zak but he didn’t let anyone in on his flaws. Zak did what he felt was the preferable solution. He never let anyone in. He was a burden to everyone anyways. Why would he ever talk to people id he is just going to abandon them and let them down? Zak wanted to rest but he couldn’t sleep. Zak wanted to laugh but he couldn’t feel happy. Zak wanted to be normal but he couldn’t live on the inside. So he did what he thought was best and most convenient for everyone. He took his own life. Everybody remembers Zak, but no one really knew Zak or his problems. Now no one can. 

Anonymous asked: Are you gay? Wanna be my boyfriend?

I have a girlfriend. I also am heterosexual. You are also Anonymous. See the problems? 

that-kid-from-london:

egberts:

BATHTUBS ARE JUST REVERSE BOATS

deancasotp:

corgay:

the-blog-of-anne-frank:

I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry

oh my fucking god

elizabethmckane:

laughing-llama:

gaytectives:

wesley-crusher:

raven-ehtar:

sniffleheim:

ofabeautifulnight:

having to dumb down your knowledge of celebrities in front of people

having to dumb down your knowledge of fictional characters in front of people

having to dumb down your knowledge in front of people

having to in front of people

people

why do we always end up back here